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Aaron E.
Aaron lives in Chicago, Illinois, USA
Good
Afternoon, Honorable Mayor, (Mrs. Daley,) Distinguished guests, Fellow
Survivors (by whose presence I am truly humbled), Students, Ladies and
Gentleman
The
questions ladies and gentlemen is why do we speak about the holocaust?
Why do I speak?
2.
I speak because I can still be heard. Our voices are being extinguished
by time! And very soon, when we are no longer here, who will speak for
us? The revisionists and deniers are out there. and multiplying
3.
When we think about the holocaust, we perceive the killers to be crazed
and deranged people. Not so my friends... they were ordinary people. Husbands,
wives, sisters and brothers. Some had loving families and were loved by
those families. Went to church prayed to God
and
were convinced that they were doing Gods (and Hilter's) work by exterminating
these sub humans (Untermenschen). The Jew. Six million of them, including
one and one half million children. No different from your brothers and
sisters, children and grandchildren. Why? Because they were Jewish. Why
is this relevant now? It is relevant because we are still killing each
other because of our differences.
4.IF
WE are ever going to change and stop this insanity, It
has to start with the young people. I ask that you not be by-standers
Stand up speak up when you hear another student being picked on or isolated
because they they are different than you, Remember and believe this. You
are very strong you can accomplish wonderful things with
your
lives. I say and believe this with all my heart. I did things as a young
boy that I couldn't imagine a young child of 10 could have done, but he
did it because he wanted to live. You should believe in yourselves. Nothing
is impossible if you want it bad enough.
Please
allow me to share with you part of my childhood during the Holocaust
Good
Afternoon, Honorable Mayor, (Mrs. Daley,) Distinguished guests, Fellow
Survivors (by whose presence I am truly humbled), Students, Ladies and
Gentleman. This afternoon I will be sharing with you what my life,
my thinking, my fears and hopes of survival were during the Holocaust.
I put some notes together as to how I felt when I was 9 and 10 years. of
age. I would like to speak to you through my child’s memory. Where and
how did we as children get, the strength, the will, the cunning to think
as adults to live through those amazingly scary days, where each day was
a challenge to survive. And you live for tomorrow. Please share with me
part of my childhood during the Holocaust!
My
name is Aaron.
It
is 1940, and I am 8 years old. The German soldiers have taken over the
town that I live in, Sokolow, Podlaski, in Poland. I have two sisters.
Irene who is older and A baby sister named Sarah. My parents own a meat
market. Most of our business is done with the gentile population in and
around the town. They are our friends and neighbors.
Every
Thursday the farmers from the surrounding area come to the town square
near the place where my parents have their shop. These farmers arrive
in horse-drawn wagons, which are filled with vegetables, fruit and livestock
- and the marketplace becomes filled with stands that are loaded with cloth,
tools and all the sorts of supplies and products that farmers can always
use.
My
memory is still filled with those sights: the bright hot sun, the Sounds
of voices, the laughter, the smells of fresh food - even the smell of horse
manure - all of these separate impressions mingled together to create an
exciting atmosphere that I thought was just wonderful
I
thought it would last forever. But then life began to change.
And everything is different now.
The
Germans say I can't go to school because I am Jewish. Kids call me names,
like, "Dirty Jew" and "Christ Killer." I don't understand. I didn't
do anything wrong, I'm not sure I even understand what names like that
mean.
I
go to Religious School, which is taught by one of my uncles. He's
a big man with a long red beard. He is very strict and tells us about
Heaven and Hell and about being pious and respectful to everyone.
We Learn about the Ten Commandments and about being righteous.
We
go to the teacher's apartment for classes, and we sit at a long wooden
table and repeat over and over what the Rabbi reads to us
We
are told that if we don't follow the teachings of the Bible, we will never
get to Heaven. Sometimes I have bad dreams at night. The things the
teacher tells us scare me. I'm afraid of not being able to go to
Heaven if I don't follow all the Commandments. This is the first
time I begin to think about death and dying. It frightens me.
In
my dreams, I never quite make it up to Heaven on this long ladder.
Every
time I commit an infraction of my Rabbi's teachings a rung is
taken
out of the ladder. I fear my soul will wander forever and never
find
peace.
The
German soldiers really scare me with their uniforms, their high black boots,
and steel helmets. I see them grab old men of the streets and
shear their beards off while their comrades take pictures of these humiliated
Jews. Jews can't walk on the sidewalk when a German is present. All Jews
are forced to wear a yellow Star
The
gendarmes and the police are everywhere. They are mean and beat
people
in my town, for no reason that I can understand, except for the fact that
these people are Jewish.
When
they come into the area that they force us to live in, the ghetto, people
try to run and hide. They grab people off the streets and beat them
and take them away, and we never see them again. Rumors are every
where. People talk about the work camps that they are being sent to.
No one ever comes back from those camps, the concentration camps.
Everyone is whispering that the people being killed, and not just killed
but burnt in ovens, and sometimes people are killed and dumped in big graves.
They say we are being exterminated, like when you exterminate bugs in your
pantry. but I don't understand what they mean.
Yes,
everything is different now.
Old
people and children walk the streets with torn and dirty clothes begging
for food. Children are dying because there is not enough food for
them to eat. And now there are dead children lying on the sidewalks, and
people just walk around them. It’s a common sight now. Eventually
a crew comes and throws them on a wagon and they are dumped in a mass grave.
We
live surrounded by big brick walls and sharp wire that will cut you if
you touch it. We are trapped. We can not walk out of our area, the ghetto.
Things
are getting really scary. It is getting worse and worse. More
and
more people are being taken away and sent to the death camp near our town.
It is called Treblinka.
One
night my father is dragged out of our house by the German police.
They beat him with a wooden stick until his arm is broken. Then they take
him and put him with other people that are to be shipped to Treblinka’s.
death camp. But my dad escapes somehow and makes his way back home.
My
uncle Label is not so lucky. He is only sixteen years old, but he
is caught in one of the round-ups and is put with hundreds of other Jews
on crowded cattle cars that goes to Treblinka. My uncle knows that when
this train reaches Treblinka they will all be murdered, so he finds a way
to jump off the train while it is moving. But a guard sees him and shoots
at him. A bullet goes all the way through my uncle's neck and on into his
arm, but he doesn't die. He makes his way back to the ghetto. When
he returns, most of the people are afraid to help him because Gestapo and
the local police may be looking for him and anyone who helps him will also
be killed. He sneaks back to our house, and we hear from him what has happened.
I see the terrible infected wounds in his neck and arm. Soon these wounds
kill him.
Now
I am so scared. What is going to happen? We know that we all will
probably be taken to Treblinka. The fear of death and the pain that
comes with dying are always on my mind. Pain and death are all around
me. I can't stop thinking about what has happened, what is happening,
what might happen.
I
always pray to God to save us. Why do we have to die? What
did we do? What terrible sins did we commit? Why do the Germans
hate us so much? Why are so many other people helping them?
What did I ever do?
But
my questions to God never get answered.
It
is 1942, and I am 10 years old.
In
September the German Gestapo and the Ukrainian soldiers plus the local
police surround and invade the ghetto and start the final killing, and
liquidation of the Jewish people that are still alive. They are searching
the streets of the ghetto trying to find any Jews that are still hiding.
The Jews that they find are shot on the spot or are chased over into the
town marketplace. Guards are running back and forth hitting people, cursing
them, We know that all these people will be killed. We also know that the
same fate will await us if we are discovered. And that is why we are hiding.
My family and neighbors are hiding inside a double wall in the attic. It
is very scary, and everyone is afraid. It is the morning after the
Day of Atonement. There must be at least forty or more people up
here with us in this hiding place. People are whispering and telling each
other to keep quiet so we won't be discovered. One of the little children
starts to cry, and I watch in disbelief as a pillow is placed down on that
child's face to stifle the noise. And now it is quiet. There is silence.
Total silence. I dare not make a sound, but my body is shaking because
I am afraid that I will die. I am afraid that all of us will die.
My parents are sitting next to me. They are making sure that my little,
six-year old sister, Sarah doesn't utter a single sound. Now I hear footsteps
and loud commands, and soon the wall behind which we are hiding is ripped
away and then the SS start shooting into our hiding place. People
are lying all around me, bleeding and dying. I know these people.
They are not bad people. They have done nothing wrong. They
are like me, just like me. A Bullet hits the wall next to where I'm sitting.
A splinter of wood breaks off and gets embedded in my upper lip, and blood
is running down into my mouth.
My
parents are being forced to climb out of the hiding place. My father has
my little sister, Sarah, in his arms. I crawl out behind them. My
father's back shields me from the blows of the Ukrainian guards.
As
we are chased down the stairs, a guard with a club in his hand pulls my
mother out of line and takes her away from us. We are afraid that she might
be killed, but later I find out that the guard has taken her away to be
part of a cleanup detail.to pack Jewish belongings to be shipped to Germany.
The rest of us are all lined up against the wall in front of our home.
My
little sister and I are standing right next to our father. Guards are screaming
at us, "Dirty Jews," and anyone who is near a guard gets hit with a club
or a whip. People are being smashed against the wall.
I watch an SS man shoots one of the women. Blood is running
from
her
head into the street. I know this woman. She was our neighbor.
Guards are walking back and forth barking orders. I try not to look at
them.
My eyes are stuck to the ground. I am convinced that if I don't
look
at their faces they will not see me. But I cannot control my fear,
and my whole body starts to shake again. I cannot stop shaking, but
I
don’t
cry. I still do not make a sound.
I
look up, and everywhere I look people are screaming and being shot.
People
are being dragged out of their houses, beaten, clubbed and chased to a
field in back of our house where they are shot and thrown into a mass grave.
The rest like us are chased up to the main marketplace in the middle of
town. but one of the older man in our building can't keep up with the rest,
and he falls. A guard kicks him until he no longer moves, and then he
just walks away.
While
we are waiting, they make us sit in a square in the middle of the
market.
a guard sits in the middle of the square with a machine gun
and
keeps turning and pointing it at everyone. I don't know if I will
be
shot. Other Gestapo guards are walking around us and beating people
if
they are not lined up in exactly the right way.
Sarah and I are sitting next to my dad. My sister
is
too young to understand what is going on. She thinks we are all
going
on a trip and has brought some dried (farfell)food that is wrapped up in
paper.(A Handkerchief)
I am terrified of the pain I imagine that comes with death.
I
shake with fear. I don't want to die! I keep praying to God
to spare me, but then I wonder! why he would save me? There are other children
that are better behaved than I am. There are other children that
are much more pious than I. These are the ones who will be saved.
Not me.!
We are sitting there and I start to cry. Why is God allowing this
to happen? I don't want to die. I am afraid of the pain that I fear
comes with death
My
father tells me I should run and try to escape. Maybe I could make
my way to where my sister Irene has been hidden. You see, before
the liquidation, my parents had placed my older sister, Irene, with a friendly
Polish couple, Mr. and Mrs. Gurski, for safety. My sister was chosen
because a girl was easier to disguise as a non-Jew. My parents paid
them money. But I do know where my sister is hiding. So, I crawl behind
the people sitting next to me, and inch my way slowly on my stomach, away
from there and into the sewer that runs along the edge of the street. It
seems like it takes forever. Will they see me? Will they shoot
me? Perhaps I wont feel the pain,if I am shot in the back. Finally
I stand and run. No one notices me. nobody is screaming. No
one is shooting at me. Why? I don't understand.
I
run into the cellar of one of the empty houses and I hide there that
day
and night. The next morning I sneak out of the house and run
over
to where the walls with barbed wire fence surround the ghetto and crawl
through those barbed wires, and now I am free! I have escaped!
I run and keep on running until at last I come to a farm near our town.
There are some survivors there that tell me that my mother is still alive.
She is part of a labor group. I walk back to the Ghetto and find
my mother. She helps hide me while she is working and at night we
are together. One evening we run away together to some other farms
farther away from our town. During the day we hide in the forests
and barns, and at night we sneak out and ask farmers for food. Sometimes
we are lucky and they give us a place to hide and some food. Other
times they chase us away and tell us they are going to turn us over to
the Germans. This goes on for many weeks.
My
mother tells me that I must go back to the town and see if Mrs. Gurski
will take me in. My mother gives me some jewelry that she has and
tells me to give this jewelry to the Gurskis or anyone else that will help
me. I am deeply hurt because I don’t understand her motives.
I feel abandoned. I cry and yet I later realize that had we not separated,
I would surely not have survived.
I
try to live on my own. I hide in the woods and barns. I dig
up potatoes and sugar beats that the farmers have buried to keep them from
freezing and those raw potatoes become my diet.
One
night in desperation, I knock on a farmer's door and plead with him to
help me. I give him the jewelry that my mother gave me. At
first he agrees and I'm taken down into the cellar of the farmhouse. One
of the members of his family brings me hot soup and fresh bread.
This is the first hot food I've eaten in a very long time. I am overjoyed
with the hope that they will hide me. Soon I am asked to come up
from the cellar and am told that they are in fear of their lives because
the Germans might discover that they are helping a Jew. So, they
return my mother's jewelry to me and tell me to give myself up to the
authorities because there is no longer any future for people like me.
So
I walk back to the ghetto, but everything is different now. There
is nobody left. The streets are empty and eerie! The ghetto
is completely dark and silent. It scares me. I walk into one
of the empty houses and go to sleep on the floor
The
next morning, early so no one would see me, I start walking to the Gurskis.
No one is in the streets, but even so, I am still worried that someone
will see me.
When
Mrs. Gurski sees me, she is angry and yells at me for coming there.
She tells me that I am dangerous because if the Germans find out they are
helping Jews, they will kill everyone. She tells me that my sister
isn't here anymore, and she wants me to leave right now. I beg and
cry for her to help me to let me hide in her attic, even if only for a
little while. I guess because I look really sick and because I am
begging for help, she finally agrees to let me stay in the attic, but only
for a few days, and then after that, I must leave and find my mother again.
So
Mrs. Gurski takes me up to the attic and gives me a pail to use as a toilet.
A sack of straw is placed over in the corner where the roof and floor meet
and If I stay in a place like this Mrs. Gurski thinks no one will be able
to see me if anyone comes up the stairs. I crouch up with my knees
against my chest like a little baby and try to keep warm. The floor
of the attic is dried dirt and the roof is made of tin plates, which are
freezing to the touch. It is very cold. Although there are
no windows, even so, some light shines through separations of the roof,
and in the morning the inside of the roof is white with ice and frost that
have formed during the night because it is so cold.
The
Gurskis live upstairs in their house. Two other families live on
the first floor. Next to their apartment is an attic. Mrs.
Gurski does not come up to the attic again until the next day She gives
me some soup and bread, she tells me that I am a terrible burden and that
I am placing everyone in a very dangerous situation.
A
few days later my sister appears. She is allowed to come up to the
attic with some hot water so that I can wash, but it is useless.
I am so full of lice and other bugs that even hot water doesn't do any
good. So my sister leaves and I am left alone again.
Mrs.
Gurski tells me she should never have taken me in. She is afraid
if she throws me out and the Germans catch me, that I will probably tell
them that she and her husband have helped me. Then, they would be
killed for helping Jews.
Why
did she listen to our mother? The news about the war is always bad
and it seems to be getting worse. The Germans say they are winning
the war. They are going to conquer the whole world. What will
happen if they do?
Slowly,
those few days turn into weeks and those weeks eventually turn into years
I
live in that attic for nearly two years
All
that time I stay in one corner of the attic and I am always cold
and
always hungry. I never get to take a bath, brush my teeth or cut
my hair. Hunger gives me pains in my stomach. Will the pain
ever go away? When will Mrs. Gurski bring me some food? I am
always trying to remember: “What it was like to be full?”
In
the attic there is a place where the wooden walls meet the tin plates that
form the roof, and I pry open a little spot between them so that I can
look down into the yard behind the house. And there in the backyard
I see a little girl, the youngest daughter of one of the families that
live below the place where I am hiding. The little girl is eating strawberries.
I will never forget that little girl or the strawberries. Down there,
there is a child eating strawberries and life is fairly normal. Up
here, I am hiding for my life!
If
I were not Jewish my life would be like hers. I am beset with envy. Why
was I born Jewish..Why couldn’t I be like her.
Mrs.
Gurski made an arrangement with our mother to hide only one child, but
now there are two of us here. She is angry with our mother for sending
me to the place where my sister is hiding. Mrs. Gurski accepted my
sister. She thought my sister Irene could possibly pass as a gentile,
but I could not. I would be more readily recognized as a Jew because
I was circumcised, and Polish boys were not in those days.
Since
my mother chose my sister as the one who could be saved, by my coming here
now I am jeopardizing my sister's existence as well as their own.
So
by being here I am creating an even more dangerous situation for all of
them, and that is why everyone wants me to leave. I feel that everyone
hates me. Nobody at all even cares if I survive. No one but
me. I want to live!
My
days in the attic are spent in constant fear of being discovered.
I always worry about being thrown out or being caught by the Germans.
What if they catch me? Will they torture me and force me to tell
them who is hiding me and helping me? Will they kill me? Why
do I have to die? What did I do? What sins did I do?
Did I offend someone? Who? Why? How?
So
I sit in silence. My days and nights are very lonely. There
are no friends for me to play with except... except when it rains.
Rain becomes my welcome friend, because when it rains, the rain hits the
tin plates that form the roof and makes such aloud noise against the tin
that I am able to scream, cry and even sing. This lets out whatever
is pent-up inside of me.
I
am also filled with dreams. I try to imagine that this all would
soon be over, and I would see my mother and father and sisters again.
Yes, I try to imagine that we will all be together again and then I
am not cold or scared anymore. And I am not hungry. No more
hunger. No more pain in my stomach from not enough food, and finally
no more loneliness.
But
everything is different now.
Out
of 6000 Jewish people that lived in our town only 29 survived. Only
two children survived on their own. My sister Irene and I.
My
dad dies in the death camp at Treblinka.
And
my mother, My mother survives in hiding and than four months before liberation
she is turned over to the Germans by a local Polish farmer. She is
tied to a wagon and brought into town to the German Gestapo, and
is shot in the town cemetery.
And
my little sister Sarah who has been breaking my heart for most of my adult
life dies on the way to the gas chambers of Treblinka. Or perhaps she dies
inside the gas chambers, or maybe,…maybe they have discovered some other
unspeakable way to kill an innocent six-year old girl who is alone with
no one that loves her at her side. Noone knows. No one will
ever know.
I
will never know!
Everything
is different now.
My
name is Aaron,
Thank
you for listening |